![]() “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” UnknownĤ5. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” UnknownĤ4. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” UnknownĤ3. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer SimpsonĤ2. Well, here are some de-motivational (slightly sarcastic) quotes, just for you!Ĥ1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Unknownīit of a cynic? Do you think that inspirational quotes are boring and useless? “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie BurkeĤ0. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchettģ9. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frostģ8. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroeģ7. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Blochģ6. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburnģ5. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknownģ4. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddisonģ3. ![]() “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” Ron Whiteģ2. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbachģ0. ![]() “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason LoveĢ9. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will RogersĢ7. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis PresleyĢ6. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” Michael ScottĢ5. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” Ayn Rand.Ģ3. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” Robert BraultĢ2. “Be happy - it drives people crazy.” UnknownĢ1. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulzġ9. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” Unknownġ8. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklinġ7. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrichġ6. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twainġ5. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” Cathy Guisewiteġ4. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” Cassandra Duffyġ3. “Bad decisions make good stories.” Ellis Vidlerġ2. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lamaġ1. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomerġ0. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” Unknownĩ. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrerħ. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the PoohĦ. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wildeĥ. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” Lily TomlinĤ. Well, neither does bathing - that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglarģ. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe GirardĢ. “The elevator to success is out of order. I thought… surely, not every single quote out there is as ‘boring,’ ‘cheesy’ and ‘pointless’ as this LinkedIn user would have me believe?Īnd so this week, I’ve been on a quest to find the funniest, most witty and genuinely interesting motivational (and a few de-motivational) one-liners I could - in a bid to win over the cynics… enjoy. I stumbled across a rather aggravated post (rant) on LinkedIn the other day detailing a certain user’s distaste (and hatred, actually) for inspirational quotes (posters to be more precise).Īnd ironically, it inspired me to write this post!
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